Labyrinth part two

Last night I go to pick up my prescriptions, and the pharmacy informs me that Drug # 1 is a $50.00 copay, and Drug #2 is not covered and will cost over $100. They suggest I call my provider, and ask what alternates are covered.


I call United Healthcare and deal with the auto attendant.

'Just say what you want to do, for example benefits overview, or deductible status'
'Prescription drug coverage' I say
'I'm sorry I didn't understand that'
'prescription drug coverage' I shout
hold on while I get you to an operator, please enter your group or subscriber number

'Hello this is _____ may I have your group or subscriber number please?

'I just typed it in'- I say knowing full well it doesn't matter, but this is a pet peeve
I end up giving the number anyway
'How may I help you?
'I need to find out what alternate drugs are covered'
'Okay sir you will need to contact Medco directly'
It's actually this same phone number but a different option, I can give you the direct number if you like'
'Uh yes please, I guess I'm too stupid to figure it out'


I call Medco;

'Please enter your subscriber or group number'
Once the number is entered I proceed saying 'prescription drug coverage! again but no luck

on comes the operator
'Sir may I have your subscriber number or group number please'

Finally I found out some similar drugs that are covered, and I call my doc for a different prescription.


I find this disturbing, my doc wants me to be on brand X, but due to insurance reasons I will go on brand Y. If brand Y turns out to be another Vioxx, I will go after them, you can be sure.